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Annabel Ascher's avatar

Thanks Star. I am already organizing through tears. I may have the advantage of never losing my understanding that this COULD HAPPEN. I have been chatting on Facebook over the last two weeks about the possibility. So, here we are.

I have a zoom set up for Friday, and will do another next week for people with scheduling issues. The topic: What's Next? HOW do we resist? What does it mean to do so? And how do we stay as safe as we can while we do it?

If you have any guidance on these points I would be appreciative. Most of us are new to this. I am gathering the smartest people I know who are also committed to mitigating this horror.

We are the only heroes we have left. We must save ourselves and protect the vulnerable.

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Cynthia Jane Collins's avatar

My lovely m...my dear family and friends...... written after the first debacle of 2015, and now with essentially NO change from my perspective, posted today, 2024.

In my life, I've experienced many types of fear. I've been afraid of taking the training wheels off, not having studied enough, whether or not the person I liked liked me back, giving birth, experiencing surgeries,being a parent, making emotional, intellectual and/or financial commitments. I've been afraid for no reason I could discern, and for reasons that were pretty healthy. I wear my seatbelt. I keep an eye on my checkbook. If someone asks me nice, I'm pretty accommodating. I don't like roller coasters, will not willingly be riding in a car when someone who is impaired is driving,and sniff my food before ingesting it. I have been afraid in the physical presence of people who are threatening to me, and, over time, I've learned skills from keeping a low profile to being a reasonable shot.

As much as I take precautions that seem to me to be reasonable, I know that the unexpected can happen. A bus can come through the front window, people can accidentally poison puppies, and roads can be unexpectedly slippery. Bad things can and do happen. But, to speak a bit of legalese, there seems to be no malice aforethought.

I am writing this to let you know that I am afraid, afraid for my life.

There's an old Doors song that speaks of the revolutionary mindset of the young in the 60s. One of the lines says "they've got the guns,but we've got the numbers. We're gonna win, we're taking over." The doors are saying that things are equalizing and that the possibility of change is very real. In the election just passed, they have the guns, they have the electoral numbers, and very truly they are taking over. And they are doing so with the consent of the people. And this is A VERY BAD THING, that did not just happen. It was very deliberately accomplished. This deliberate intention is what I am afraid of ... that did not just happen.

It was very deliberately accomplished. This deliberate intention is what I am afraid of.

Yes, I am afraid of what the misogynistic, Homophobic, rapist Donald Trump Will do. I'm also afraid of what Republicans House of Representatives and Senate will do and let him do. I'm afraid of what the state and local governments will do. I'm afraid of what will happen to the Supreme Court .

But more than my fear of these legislative, executive and judicial bodies and people, I am afraid of my fellow citizens. Each and every one of them who voted for Trump and for the Republicans sent very clear message to me on a personal basis. Some of them are organizing KKK rallies, perpetrating violence against women and Muslims and other religions, and threatening more violence. Children are threatening other children in school that their parents will be deported.

I have no interest in any experimentation with pretending things are really going to be OK. They are not going to be OK. The haters have the power. Haters don't make things OK. I feel like I have a great big flashing red target on me.

I'm a woman.

I am a pagan. A very well-known pagan. An active Pagan. With a moon tattooed on my forehead. With books still in print. I lead a coven, and am a founding elder of a heritage.

I am old. I am sick.

I am disabled.

While it does not show at first glance, I have significant American Indian heritage, and more forebearers from Africa than from Ireland. Therefore I'm not entirely white.

And I hang out with other undesirables.

I am also afraid I am putting my children and grandchildren, my friends and family, in literally mortal danger by simply being who I am.

I am terrified. I certainly have no intention of returning hate to the haters. But I will do my very best to maintain my sanity, protect myself and those I love, and cause as little harm as possible.

Please pray for me, for all of us… Even the haters.

Cynthia Jane Collins

Oldelucy@gmail.com

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